That's the question running through my mind today as my little guys allergy doc explained to my hubby and I that we were now officially dealing with a toddler who is allergic to peanuts.
Why?
Ugh...the guilt, the worry, the constant fear. Why?
Why did this happen. Why?
I did something to cause...I must have...thoughts running through my mind. I should have breast fed him longer...should have worked harder at it and not given up. Maybe if I would have done that...then THIS wouldn't have happened...
WHY?
After being handed tons of info on how to use the epi pen, all the medications, ointments, bathing instructions, and list of things to avoid we walked back to the car...
Sad...why?
Images of scenarios run through my head. I flash ahead to pre-school, the nursery at church, kindergarten, school trips....How could I EVER be ok leaving him alone now? How???
Why?
It's moments like this when life isn't what you planned...that you realize things about life...
And as I'm playing thinking games in my mind...trying to find peace and order a song comes on the radio and I catch just one line of a lyric from a Green Day Song...
"So make the best of this question known as why"
And then I knew...We HAD to make the best of this...and we will.
LOVE
Desiree
momtini@yahoo.com
www.momtiniky.com
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